A Shocking Exposé on Mexico City's MetroBus

Alright FINE. It's no Exposé. But if you've ever ridden the MetroBus in Mexico City, you know what goes down. If you've ever walked down the street, you've seen the poor souls stuck to the windows clinging for dear life as they wonder aloud how they ended up stuck to a bus window at the age of 23. Oh, is that just me?

It's likely that the Mexican government recognizes the lunacy that occurs on MetroBusses (not that their knowing spurs action anyway) but if you are one of my amigos in the States, then nothing you've ridden there could ever prepare you for this.

Quick Background:
Opened up in 2005, the newest MetroBus line was finished in 2010 and is for the most part a cheap and fast way to get around since it operates within a reserved lane and thus moves much quicker through traffic. A single-trip costs about 0.38 USD and you streamline your usage via a reusable "smartcard". Besides addressing the bus service problem, the Metrobús project emerged in the context of the city’s efforts to reduce air pollution. 

According to information from the Mexico City government published in April 2006, the Metrobús carried more than 390,000 passengers daily. I couldnt find the stats for daily passengers in 2011, but it sometimes feels that the 390,000 passengers are all on your bus at once.

The BEAST

Things that have occured on the MetroBus:

* It was once so crowded, I was literally able to sit down in mid-air as fellow riders suspended me up with their bodies.

*I saw a woman try to squeeze into the bus with a cake and then watched knowingly as the doors smashed her cake into pieces.

*A man was once attacked by an entire cart full of women for riding in the "women's passenger car" and was then forcibly removed by a police officer. I have frequently heard women, perhaps sick of years of life in a male-dominated society, yell crowd favorites like, "If we don't demand respect here, they'll always take advantage!"

*A guy on my MetroBus got his phone stolen, sprinted out of the bus at the next stop to beg a nearby police officer for help. He was met with a loud and embarrassing,  "Dude, you got your phone stolen? What do you want ME to do about it?" Not sure why he wasn't expecting that one.

*In the painful and terrifying dash to get off the bus before being trampled by the boarding passengers (see video below), a lady got her purse stuck in the double-door and watched as the bus rode off with her bag. Her panic-stricken face summed up what has to be one of the crappiest things to happen on your way to work.

*This week, I watched as folks intently stared at the Mo' Money Mo' Problem video on the bus tv screen.

And although it seems like this crazy stuff happens every day, what I really DO see every day is what has to be the jankest beauty trick ever: women curling their eyelashes with spoons. I suppose the market for the eyelash curler is minuscule here.

See there? In one hand, a mirror. In the other hand, a SPOON.  No, I'm not a creeper. I am an investigative blogger.

 Since Mexicans have a refreshing "no pasa nada" attitude, I can see why some people (especially those that don't ride it regularly) smile or laugh when they're getting crushed by double doors and squeezing into a space that is simply not there. But most people that ride the MetroBus during rush hour have to do it on a daily basis, so to them (to us!), it's not funny.

In the beginning, I used to get really nervous to ride the MetroBus because there is an entire protocol. It's not a "get-on and get-off" type thing. OH NO.  But it gets better. You get used to it, and you pick up tricks to make the ride easier. For me, trying to take video and pictures of the mayhem to write this post has helped. So now that I've published this post...well..I guess I'll take up eyelash spooning.

I shot about 15 videos to get this one. It is the story of how a pregnant lady and her elderly parents try to get off the MetroBus. I attempt to give you a play-by-play even including English captions for yall who don't speak Spanish. Yes, it's on my iphone but you'll get a good idea. ENJOY!