So I originally wanted to start off this post by saying that it wasn't the last. June and July have been spectacular months and a lot has
happened but I’ve thought about it and yea, this is gonna be the last post. If
I do find some time to update this blog I think it will be to address the goals
that I listed in the beginning. I would love to chat with you about all that
I’ve been up to through the medium of your choice but the next couple of weeks
I’ll be in the swing of moving and starting my new job so I will just make sure
I say the things that are left for me to say.
I feel like I’ve been thinking about this last post since I wrote
the very first one. When I started this blog, I figured that if I did it the
right way, I would be emotionally invested in it by the end and have a hard
time wrapping it up. I guess I did it the right way. As I typed that last
sentence, I got choked up. Maybe writing this at the airport is a terrible
idea.
If you’ve read this far, I want to thank you for having taken the
time to read this post and any others you may have had the chance to read. It
has been a blast having this outlet to reflect on everything that came along
with my life in Mexico and even more fun knowing that someone out there is interested
in reading it. Since I launched Visa para un Sueño on July 28, 2011, it’s had 2,
235 page views. The most read blog post was the
Festival of the Authentic Intrepid Danger Seekers and the most random place where someone
has stumbled upon my blog is in Latvia (17 pageviews from there actually..kinda weird).
I thought for the last few months that this post was going to be my final reflection about my time here, how I have changed as a person and
what will be different in my life going forward, but I’ve realized that
reflecting about this whole things is an ongoing process and that I simply
don’t have a "final" reflection. I am different somehow. I’ll figure out how
later.
Instead I’ll use this time to give my thanks and offer up
something I realized recently, that to me, embodies a huge shift in my life.
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| Guanajuato with the gang |
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| Our very last night together |
To my BBers:
Bah, now I’m crying and this security guard is looking at me
funny. We have all had our very personal and separate experiences here but I
wanted to offer up my perspective of our time together. I suppose I won’t mention
names but I do want to highlight just how big of an impact yall have had on my
time here.
When I first landed in Mexico City, it was a Fulbrighter who
picked me up from the airport. It was another that convinced me that I should put off apartment searching and go adventuring in Oaxaca my first weekend here.
Fulbrighters taught me the magic of airline miles, what it means to love where
you are from even if everyone else has something bad to say about it and how to
keep your chin up in the face of whatever life throws at you.
When I walked into my apartment building after spending Christmas
at home, I ran into a Fulbrighter on his way out for a run. I looked at him and
knew that he could see the sadness in my eyes from the bottom of the stairs. I
collapsed into his arms as soon as I was close enough to do so because after 30
minutes back in Mexico, I couldn't bear the thought of spending 7 more months
here. We chingared a bottle of wine with another FB that night. He taught me
the word chingared.
When I was going through that whole “hostility stage”
Fulbrighters let me sleep in their beds so I wouldn't feel alone in the morning
and on Valentines day, it was a Fulbrighter that cooked me a beautiful meal and
provided a much needed Friends
episode.
I was once wondering out loud how I was going to combine my
interest in business and public policy (a new development from my time in
Mexico) and a Fulbrighter suggested I quit selling myself short and get a
master’s in both. I have made that my new goal for the future.
I got mugged with a Fulbrighter and afterwards we sat there and
cancelled our bank cards while one poured us cups of wine and cooked dinner and
another dug around his stuff for an ipod I could borrow for my very first race
the next morning. I ran that race with another Fulbrighter.
I’ll go on in list form. Experiences I shared with members of my
FB fam:
-Skydiving in Mexico
-Political ranting at FMCN
-Nudist Beach rave in Zipolite
-Carnaval in Veracruz
-Whale Watching in La Paz
-Jumping into Sink holes (cenotes) in Merida
-Crashing rental cars
-Using Sharpie borrowed from a Starbucks barista to fill in
scratches from said crash
-Crazy Viking Challenge Race
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| The first obstacle race in Mexico. 8.5 kms of slippin' around like a dork..I mean, like a Viking. |
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| Fulbright Prom |
-Bike Riding down Reforma
-Mezcal Thursdays
-Monarch Reserves in Valle de Bravo
-Lucha Libre
-Visits to Plaza de Tecnologia for whatever assortment of stolen
goods needed
-Gay Pride parade in Mexico DF
-Salsa classes at COMEXUS
-Pura Salsa Concert
-Terrifying horseback riding
-Eating grasshoppers in Oaxaca
-Missing buses like a pro in Oaxaca
-Rooftop BBQ’s and brunches
-Christmas tree decorating
-Thanksgiving Dinner (gonna try to get that cranberry sauce
concoction introduced into the Villamizar household this year)
-My first protest
- Las
Costillas Tacos, Gringas at Cueva de Leon, Empanadas cart, Pata Negra
- Hooters,
Chili’s, IHOP
Yes, it’s been amazing. Still, to end off with my BB lovin', I’d like to recount this thing that
happened on June 2nd that I haven't shared with anyone.
After a day of celebrating the LGBT community in Mexico DF, we
decided to round out the weekend by heading to this gay club that is only
rivaled by the hip-hop club in Mexico City in it’s provision of epic nights.
Anywho, at about 4 or 5 am we were still going strong and the DJ decided to
take a foray into uncharted club territory (for me anyway). The man started
playing songs from...Grease. As I was dancing like a lunatic and belting You’re the one that I want at the top of
my lungs, I looked around me and stopped. At that
very moment, I realized that I felt nothing other than pure, unadulterated
happiness. I looked at every person that was there with me and thought
of the things we had lived together and the things that were waiting for us in
our futures apart and I was happy for me but more importantly, I was happy for
them. Then we went to IHOP.
I would say the excitement and emotion I felt at that moment was
comparable only to how I felt when I won my 1st grade spelling bee, got my
scholarship letter for college or of course, when I got the Fulbright letter.
Yea that’s right, 1st grade spelling bee champ in the house.
These people have seen me at my most vulnerable, at my lowest of
lows and my highest of highs. For that I cannot thank the Fulbright Binational
Business Class of 2011-2012 enough. Yall, it has been an honor and a true
pleasure.
For the friends in the states that have sent packages and
postcards, email updates, words of encouragement and demanded that I stick to
our scheduled skype dates, I am beyond thankful.
To my family: It is an understatement to say that I owe
everything to you. I know having your daughter/sister lose her mind and run off
to Mexico was less than ideal but when I needed yall, it was always no
questions asked. The most repeated advice I got from yall this year was “lo que
esta para ti, nadie te lo quita”. No one can take away what is meant for you.
With that I had a daily reminder to quit lamenting things I had lost or didn't have and was able to appreciate the incredible gift of simply being alive.
To Mexico City: My jaded lover. I regret nothing that happened
between us. I wish you and your people nothing but the very best. I will be
with you again soon and I can’t wait.
I am on the plane now heading to Dallas and should be in
Nashville in a few hours. I think I’m done with the tears now cause I’ve just
been smiling like a weirdo for about an hour. I suppose I’ve moved on to the
point of “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Before I
sign out though I want to tell you about that realization I had.
I went back and read the “Where are you FROM?” post and thought of
everything that has happened since then and how I got some kind of twisted
pleasure from getting that question this year. I thought about the years I
spent in middle and high school trying to explain that I wasn’t Mexican and how
offended I used to get. I thought about how ironic it is that my life has
brought me here and what this meant for me moving forward and I realized something. I realized that if
today someone asked me if I was Mexican, I would still pause, shake my head and say no. But
if I got that question today I would also smile. Today I would smile because
today:
I would take it as a compliment.
Thank you for reading Visa Para un Sueño. You have no idea what
it means to me.
So much love.
~Cyn
