Overcoming the Hostility Stage

It's over. My "I LOVE MEXICO SO MUCH!!" stage. It's over now.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a slow and progressive trek to this point but more of an abrupt and violent crash. I went home and I liked it. I saw friends, my family, a huge chunk of my support system and I realized how much of it I've been missing in my frantic adventuring through Mexico.

My "honeymoon stage" was characterized by overwhelming excitement whenever I tried a new kind of taco, the constant search for blog-worthy subjects and a strong awareness that I am blessed to have this opportunity. It's been replaced with the "hostility stage" in which very few things are interesting, the "little things" (MetroBus) are unbearably annoying, and I wonder a little too often if I'd be happier in the States and at Google. Also, I had this other thing happen. But if you don't know about it, then we've probably not chatted recently.

I guess it's a good thing it took me a little longer to hit that "hostility" stage

From the conversations I've had with my college buddies, I'm pretty certain this is more of an adverse reaction to being an adult and dealing with real life than it is to Mexico in particular. No dorms, no meal plan, no weekly ragers, no consistent support network, no comfort zone and worst of all, the knowledge that the time in my life when I had all of this ended a very short time ago. I've dealt with my heartbreak, feeling lonely, many hours of reflection and being mad at myself and then many more fighting to lift myself out of that self-destructive funk. My friends and family have proven to be amazing. So many chatted with me, gave me advice, listened to me cry and just let me be sad. In all reality,  one of the hardest parts has been just accepting that it IS a bad month and just letting it be. It's strange how hard it is to admit that you're in a bad place and letting yourself feel all the emotions that come along with it. But it's okay to have those times. It is okay. I will be okay.

Luckily, through all the shambles, I've learned a couple of important lessons: 

1. Karma is a bitch.
2. Although Karma is a bitch, forgiving yourself and others is necessary. We make decisions and then deal with the consequences. That's life. No regrets. 
3. I can't spend life thinking in "What ifs" or in "If this happened, then...". I need to accept the present and be happy. It turns out that humans are hard-wired to be happy and that in looking at one's life, no matter how rich, beautiful or successful you are, a human will always try to make up ways that they could be happier.
4. For all the goals I have for myself, I spend way too much time thinking about love, dating and marriage. 
5. One day, I will wake up and smile about this.
6. Hip-hop and Vallenato are therapeutic musics. 

In that fight to get back to my old self I've tried to go on adventures, trips, and to events where I may not know people and really worked to get back to achieving those goals that I listed in my very first post. Some of the things that have really stuck out in that process are: 

• Skydiving
• Going to Xochimilco with new friends
• Seeing a Lucha Libre match
• Boat riding in Valle de Bravo
• Going to a hip-hop club in Mexico City

Went Skydiving on the 5 month anniversary of my arrival 

Boats are great places for thinking. And for listening to Ja Rule #Hartzogswag

In moving on, I have several things to look forward to including: 

• My new roomate from Argentina 
• My parents coming in 4 weeks
• Heading to Carnaval in Veracruz
• Whale watching in La Paz
• Finishing my Accounting class
• Turning 23 (actually this is terrifying) 
• Going to Cancun 

I'd like to end this post by saying that I will likely not post again until I feel I'm out of this stage because no one likes a mopey blogger.  To end on a postive note though, I'd like to add that in addition to the life lessons, another great thing about this past month has been that I've had the chance to look back, listen to music and laugh a little bit. As usual, Drake has been a big part of my play list (The Motto and HYFR are good to start the day) but here are 2 that have been ESSENTIAL and also hilarious. One is a vallenato song with genuinely helpful lyrics and the other is just feel good music. Posting both of these makes me smile, because they are a sign of how different relationships and experiences, good or bad, contribute to who you are at the end of the day. Appreciating that and seeking more of those relationships and experiences, will be key to my moving on. 

Rosa Parks-Outkast 

Agua-Carlos Vives 

"He andado muchos caminos, he buscado mil tesoros,

 Yo te digo que la vida, vale mas que todo el oro"

  -You Only Live Once 

Coming to America

Went home for Christmas and it was amazing. Got to see friends and family and had time to sleep and watch Law and Order: SVU. Now I'm back in Mexico after 12 days in the States and felt the need to comment on some of the things that were most striking when I was home. They were the kind of things that made me wonder how scared and shocked a person immigrating to the U.S must be.

Within 2 minutes of being back, I made 2 rookie "not from America" mistakes. First, I bought a water bottle. I never bought water bottles in the States. I'm a firm believer in tap water's credibility and am obsessed with the whole concept of free clean water after 4 months of living somewhere where you can get sick if you swallow too much water in the shower. When I went to pay for the water bottle, I was excited to use my debit card so I handed it eagerly to the cashier. He definitely gave me a "wtf woman" look (much like the one the tamale man gave me in the Trust Issues post) and pointed at the card-swipe machine in front of the register. Yep, haven't seen one of those in a bit.

As I walked around the airport I was amused by the tiniest details. I especially enjoyed noticing that:  most restaurant tables have a bottle of ketchup, flushing toilet paper is a delightful luxury,  Beats headphones have been quite successful (judging by how often I saw them at the Dallas airport) and that as promised, military personnel were in fact all heading home for the holidays. The airport was packed with soldiers. Sometimes there were even soldiers with Beats headphones! Giggity.


I would have to say though that the most exciting part of being back, as weird as it sounds, was seeing African-Americans. I have only seen 2 black people  in the 4 months I've been in Mexico (and one of them was French) so it was absolutely amazing to see just how racially, ethnically and culturally diverse the U.S is. There are tons of people of different cultures and ethnicities in Mexico too, but not like in the States. In celebration, I decided to dedicate a good amount of time in Nashville to catching up on the latest hip-hop jams, pop songs, favorite oldies, and most importantly, Drake. I found that I listened to the following songs quite a bit:

112-Dance with Me

Drake-So Proud of You

The Weeknd-Wicked Games

You know you like it. Just skip to :58 so you don't have to sit through the Beanie Sigel part :) 

AND I heard this song for the first time: Cobra Starship-You Make me Feel. I think they play it all the time on the radio in the States but I hadn't heard it yet and now it brings a whole new level of excitement to my workout.

Me and the fam on Christmas Eve

I'm not gonna lie, I was sad to get on the plane. I knew that the honeymoon stage with Mexico was over and that I was coming back to face a completely different experience. Now that I'm back, I've decided that Mexico is no longer my passionate lover but more of a caring husband. It's a different kind of love but it's definitely still there. Flying over DF was just as spectacular as the first time. It's a behemoth of a city, so unorganized, so chaotic but so perfect in it's own way. Here's to 2012 in Mexico.

My 1st glimpse of the city

Festival of the Authentic, Intrepid Danger-Seekers

Mexico, like many other Latin-American countries, is characterized by an overwhelming dominance of the "machista" mentality and the fulfillment of traditional male and female roles. That's why our trip to Juchitán for  La Vela de las Auténticas Intrépidas Buscadoras del Peligro, or Festival of the Authentic, Intrepid Danger-Seekers ended up being as educational as outrageous. On the Isthmus of Tehuantepec, being gay is celebrated and having a homosexual son (specifically a transexual) is actually considered quite a blessing since,  

"These sons do handicrafts and sell embroideries in the market with the women, while the men work in the fields, so it's a monetary boon to the family. And while daughters marry and leave home, a muxe cares for his parents in their old age."

Muxe we met representing San Francisco in the pageant

Muxe (pronounced "MOO-shays") is the local name given to men who dress like women, or dress like men but have male lovers and hold traditionally female jobs—weaver, party planner, hairdresser. There are still strong indigenous roots in this area, so the word muxe is Zapotec word derived from the Spanish “mujer,” or woman; it is reserved for males who, from boyhood, have felt themselves drawn to living as a woman, anticipating roles set out for them by the community.

The story of how muxes came to be is as follows:

God gave San Vincente Ferrer (Juchitán's patron saint) a bag full of homosexuals to distribute throughout Mexico, one in each town BUT when he got to Juchitán, the muxes became too exuberant—they all burst out of the bag here." 

SCANDALOUS 

The festival ends with a ball on Saturday night that began at 9 pm and ended at 5 am the next morning. For about $10 (which I didn't pay because I'm a girl) you receive a case of beers (approximately 24), food, and entertainment of all forms. There was a live band and dancing but more importantly, "there were muxes in trajes (traditional Mexican dresses), ball gowns, miniskirts and thigh-high boots-some of them with prosthetic breasts and one with very real-looking implants". The entire town was there, fathers dancing with daughters, mothers and grandmothers, muxes and more muxes. It was truly an amazing trip. It was approximately 13 hours on a bus each way with tons of shambles en route. Lots of running, sweating, getting left behind, and winding roads. We headed to the beach the next day to recover from what truly was one of the most outrageous things I think I've seen. 

 Here is some more evidence: 

                                                                                  

This man just hopped onto our small van and started playing his guitar as we weaved around this gigantic mountain...just one of the ridiculous things that made this weekend. People pretend they don't hear him so they don't have to give him $, obviously, I was caught filming him and had to..



This place had no AC and no toilet seats, "Hotel Modelo" I think not

For 130 pesos you got an entire case of beers (24 beers) and free food, live music and dance..THAT is why it was shambles

   


Ate Tlayuda a typical Oaxacan  dish to recover from the night before. Had some Iguana right before this and was not a fan





Playa Azul-The virgin beach we'd been searching for

 

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo :)





Pups laying out on the beach with us

 *Sources and more information can be found in the NYtimes and Travel & Leisure 



Latest Adventures

So I am currently working on 2 blog posts that I hope will be enjoyable reads. The first is about what can only be described as an Indigenous celebration of transexuals and the second is a SHOCKING exposé on the travesties witnessed on a daily basis on the Mexico City MetroBus. It's a human interest piece really.

In the meantime I wanted to document some of the things I got to do around here the weekend of November 11-13.

On Friday, November 11, only 3 important things really happened:

     1. At 11:11 (remember that it was 11/11/11), all the ladies at the office went out into the courtyard and we took part in some yoga and meditation ritual to increase our positive energy. From what I gathered, it was supposed to make us one with the Sun and make us look at the good in life, but I just felt like an uncoordinated dork. Overall though, I enjoyed it.

  

  2. The Secretary of the Interior died in a helicopter crash. He's the equivalent of the Vice President in the U.S. He's ALSO the 2nd  Secretary of Interior to die in a helicopter crash in 3 years, and the 6th one of this Mexican administration. Needless to say after we got all our good vibes flowing, theories of this being a murder carried out by narcos were all anyone could talk about...SCARY.

  3. My phone got jacked

And as a result of event #3, I spent Saturday, November 12, sulking around and doing housekeeping things.  I went to Chili's and ordered a Fajita Quesadilla which I realized was stupid seeing as I live in Mexico and could have gotten something way better on the streets for a dollar. Things started looking up after that though. I went to a house party where a famous Mexican celebrity happened to be. His name is Kalimba but I'd never heard of him so his presence was not impressive except for that he was surrounded by beautiful women dressed in what seemed to be a uniform of little black dresses paired with black boots. This Kalimba was apparently the voice of Arnold and Simba in the Spanish versions of Hey Arnold! and The Lion King.

Highlights of the night include watching the Pacquiao Marquez fight, seeing the semi-enraged (would've been enraged if sober) Mexicans when Pacquiao won, then dancing to the following songs at our local bar:

1. Party Up-DMX

2. You Can Do It-Ice Cube

3. Lo que Paso Paso-Daddy Yankee

Sunday, November 13 was an amazing day. It was just one of those days that you wake up and wonder what you've done to deserve the opportunities you have.

Had breakfast with Scott and Joe on the rooftop then headed to Plaza de Tecnologia to break a myriad of American laws to get my iPhone activated here. Plaza de Tecnologia is basically a street, rather than an actual plaza, filled with people selling what are no doubt stolen phones, pirated and illegal software, tech repair services and accessories. Turns out that when AT&T tells you your phone is locked..they're lying. A guy standing on the street took off his gold hoop earring, pulled out the SIM card and somehow figured that out as I gawked at his ability to use jewelry to solve my phone issue. I paid about $40 total to get a new case, screen cover and to have a man there download all the software necessary to get it working. So many broken laws though...oh so many.

One of my favorite things about Mexicans is that since they can't wait on the government to help them, when there are no jobs, they create their own. This plaza and the surrounding streets are packed with thieves but mostly with industrious people who have taken charge of their lives and essentially started their own businesses.

Then there happened to be a free Chromeo concert a couple of blocks from our apartment in Parque Mexico. I'd never heard of Chromeo before but they were really a fun band and the amount of hipsters that had managed to flock there after the post on Twitter about the concert was really great to see..

Here is a much better video of the madness  made by the sponsors, Absolut: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF7irTehnpE

And of course that's not enough excitement to fit into a day so after the concert we headed over to the Televisa Studios for a tour and to watch the taping of their weekend sports show, Televisa Deportes. Their commentary on NFL games was by far the best part...Los Vaqueros de Dallas y Los Acereros de Pittsburgh..jejejeje

The Televisa version of Sports Center

And then real life started again on Monday and to get my phone registered, I had to leave work an hour early, run to a Customer Service Center (open conveniently from 10 am-7pm in a country where office hours are about from 9-6:30), just to barge through the doors at 6:56, deal with some sass from the receptionist, then wait till #330 was called so I could register my phone with my passport. That's right, you buy the phone, then have to travel elsewhere in this behemoth of a city to register the phone so that you can actually use it..#inefficiency

Only one side of the TelCel Service Center  

A Shocking Exposé on Mexico City's MetroBus

Alright FINE. It's no Exposé. But if you've ever ridden the MetroBus in Mexico City, you know what goes down. If you've ever walked down the street, you've seen the poor souls stuck to the windows clinging for dear life as they wonder aloud how they ended up stuck to a bus window at the age of 23. Oh, is that just me?

It's likely that the Mexican government recognizes the lunacy that occurs on MetroBusses (not that their knowing spurs action anyway) but if you are one of my amigos in the States, then nothing you've ridden there could ever prepare you for this.

Quick Background:
Opened up in 2005, the newest MetroBus line was finished in 2010 and is for the most part a cheap and fast way to get around since it operates within a reserved lane and thus moves much quicker through traffic. A single-trip costs about 0.38 USD and you streamline your usage via a reusable "smartcard". Besides addressing the bus service problem, the Metrobús project emerged in the context of the city’s efforts to reduce air pollution. 

According to information from the Mexico City government published in April 2006, the Metrobús carried more than 390,000 passengers daily. I couldnt find the stats for daily passengers in 2011, but it sometimes feels that the 390,000 passengers are all on your bus at once.

The BEAST

Things that have occured on the MetroBus:

* It was once so crowded, I was literally able to sit down in mid-air as fellow riders suspended me up with their bodies.

*I saw a woman try to squeeze into the bus with a cake and then watched knowingly as the doors smashed her cake into pieces.

*A man was once attacked by an entire cart full of women for riding in the "women's passenger car" and was then forcibly removed by a police officer. I have frequently heard women, perhaps sick of years of life in a male-dominated society, yell crowd favorites like, "If we don't demand respect here, they'll always take advantage!"

*A guy on my MetroBus got his phone stolen, sprinted out of the bus at the next stop to beg a nearby police officer for help. He was met with a loud and embarrassing,  "Dude, you got your phone stolen? What do you want ME to do about it?" Not sure why he wasn't expecting that one.

*In the painful and terrifying dash to get off the bus before being trampled by the boarding passengers (see video below), a lady got her purse stuck in the double-door and watched as the bus rode off with her bag. Her panic-stricken face summed up what has to be one of the crappiest things to happen on your way to work.

*This week, I watched as folks intently stared at the Mo' Money Mo' Problem video on the bus tv screen.

And although it seems like this crazy stuff happens every day, what I really DO see every day is what has to be the jankest beauty trick ever: women curling their eyelashes with spoons. I suppose the market for the eyelash curler is minuscule here.

See there? In one hand, a mirror. In the other hand, a SPOON.  No, I'm not a creeper. I am an investigative blogger.

 Since Mexicans have a refreshing "no pasa nada" attitude, I can see why some people (especially those that don't ride it regularly) smile or laugh when they're getting crushed by double doors and squeezing into a space that is simply not there. But most people that ride the MetroBus during rush hour have to do it on a daily basis, so to them (to us!), it's not funny.

In the beginning, I used to get really nervous to ride the MetroBus because there is an entire protocol. It's not a "get-on and get-off" type thing. OH NO.  But it gets better. You get used to it, and you pick up tricks to make the ride easier. For me, trying to take video and pictures of the mayhem to write this post has helped. So now that I've published this post...well..I guess I'll take up eyelash spooning.

I shot about 15 videos to get this one. It is the story of how a pregnant lady and her elderly parents try to get off the MetroBus. I attempt to give you a play-by-play even including English captions for yall who don't speak Spanish. Yes, it's on my iphone but you'll get a good idea. ENJOY!

Guanajuato

Went to Guanajuato last weekend for the Cervantino Festival and was thoroughly impressed with the brilliantly colorful town about 5 hours north of Mexico City. The Cervantino Festival is one of the most famous festivals in Latin America and although it is centered on celebrating cultural events based on an annual theme, it is also known for being a rager. We were there for 3 days and rage we did. 

Still, I think my favorite part about being in Guanajuato for this festival was that it was a magnificent example of how Mexico combines tradition with modernity. The videos posted at the bottom can show you first hand. There is footage of a Callejoneada, which takes you on a musical historic tour of the town, then of our trip to a local club and of one of the concerts featured in the festival. You can see that Mexico has a lot to offer and that it has found a way to celebrate old customs while enjoying the new!  

Below are my favorite pictures of the trip and the videos I mentioned: 

Impressively beautiful town nestled in the mountains

Lost a staring contest with this little girl at the market 

El Pípila: Statue of Mexican Revolution War Hero. The man strapped slabs of rock to his back as a bullet-proof vest to protect him as he ran out in front of the Spanish's fort and opened their gates to let Mexican troops in.  

   

I tried to match my clothing to the colors of the city

Typical Guanajuato Dish: Enchiladas Mineras 

View of the Pipila and the track that leads to the top of the hill (where we stayed) from the Main Square:

Examples of Mexico's amazing culture:
*note: video quality was ruined after uploading it toBlogger so if you for some reason want to see the good versions of these, let me know. 

The Callejoneada was led by students from the University of Guanajuato and took us through the town

We went to this club called Galleria that was one, amazing, and two, an example of how American music permeates the worlds's fiestas 

Right before we left we saw this Mexican band rocking out at the festival and a legion of fans joining in on the show                    

Trust Issues

On the very last day of orientation we had a much-awaited workshop on business practices in Mexico and how to handle business-interactions with our colleagues, clients and bosses. There were several helpful key takeaways like:

• There is no seperation between home and work. It is perfectly normal and acceptable to take a personal call during a business meeting and taking care of your kid or parent is a perfectly acceptable reason for missing work. No judgement.
• Meeting agendas are a nicety at best..don't ever expect that you will follow it or even consider the fact that you will finish early
• If someone pauses for a "quick" interruption, it is probably everything but "quick" so fire up the Angry Birds on your phone

And then, the most intriguing of all:

• Without trust, there is no business deal. Many business deals are made over several meals or drinks to establish a personal bond.

Our speaker, the Senior Advisor at Manatt Jones Global Strategies, John Bruton, followed this up with a strong statement that I've spent the past couple of weeks exploring.

"Mexicans have Trust Issues"

The conversation delved into the history of trust issues in Mexico which date back to the days of the Aztecs when misplaced trust led to their downfall in the hands of the Spanish. He gave the example of the Mexican government. Mexicans are aware and accept the fact that there government is corrupt. Many don't expect anything from them. Not protection, education, economic development, healthcare..nothing. They know that if they need something, the government and their cronies (like the police) are not exactly a reliable resource. 

Still, I've started thinking about some of my experiences with trust in Mexico City and it becomes a complex issue marked by contradictions, confusion and just overall shambles...

My very first street food item. I got a weird look from the tamale man for paying him BEFORE I ate it.

For example, when you order food from a street cart, you can literally eat half of their inventory and not pay till you're done. You keep ordering, they keep serving, and no money is exchanged until the very end. This is obviously normal at a sit-down restaurant but at a street cart where your customer can just scurry away..it seems like a weird place to trust folks willy-nilly. But they do. In fact, the first time I ate a street tamale, I paid for it immediately after the man handed it to me, and he looked like I was such an incredible inconvenience. It was like he wanted to serve all the customers first and THEN receive their payments along with compliments of the food.

It is likely all these people eating haven't paid yet (pic from Grantourismo Travels) 

And THEN the story of all stories about trust in Mexico City happened when I was on the prowl for apartments. My roomie and I were supposed to meet with a  landlady to sign the final contract one evening after work. I was feeling sick (I thought it was gonna be my first taste of Montezuma's Revenge), tired and then I got lost and was an hour and a half late. Needless to say, by the time I got there, I just wanted to sign the damn thing and go home. We were there for another hour and a half, going over every single detail with this woman from a ridiculous $5,000 peso deposit for the phone to the difference betwen a pipe bursting and a light bulb breaking (the difference being we pay for maintenance and not infrastructure issues).

After all that, after a month of apartment hunting, we signed the contract. We were supposed to be done. BUT NOOO. The next day, this lady comes out with some new mess about giving her copies of our visas, our payment contracts, our Fulbright letters and recommendation letters (oh, and an extra month's worth of rent). Mind you, we had already signed the contract. You are no longer legally allowed to demand anything else except what was specified in the contract. Still, to make sure our landlady trusted us, we put together these elaborate packets. The day after, our friends Mexican dad called her up to ask why she was being so insistent and make all these new demands after we'd signed the contract. Her answer:

         She thought I looked untrustworthy and didn´t feel comfortable with me living in her building.

Pause. WHAT?! I cried. It was actually my first time crying here. I wanted to write an entire blog post about  my first time crying because I figured it'd have something to do with getting lost, getting sick, or getting scared and thus somewhat interesting. But no, they were tears of anger and frustration. I was offended, but mostly, I was annoyed. Annoyed because I highly doubt any human landlord would pull some crap about your "untrustworthy face" to deny you an apartment. I'm sure they'd say they found another tenant, that it was no longer available and even go as far as saying the damn thing burnt down before making you run around in circles, insulting you and leaving you apartment-less. I see no benefit in doing that, but hey, some people aren't cost-benefit analysis types.

Was it cause I'm an American? (turns out people think we're entitled), Because I was texting on my phone? (this was a real example she used to prove I was untrustworthy), Because I looked annoyed and exhausted? Who knows. I got over it. I have a much better apartment now and it gave me more evidence that trust is a bit of a complex concept here.

Obviously, trust-building is difficult everywhere but that word: confianza, I've never heard it as much as I have here. There is no confianza in the government, there is confianza in the folks that lunch at the street carts, people recommend things by saying son de confianza (they're trustworthy) and so on..

It will be a topic I continue to explore. Oh oh, Trust Issues...

Every time I think of this lack of clarity on the concept of trust, I sing the chorus of this song. Not because it has anything to do with the subject but simply because it's called Trust Issues and because I've found myself having some Drake withdrawals here..